I think its pretty safe to say 2016 has been a fucking dumpster fire of a year. Trump is going to be our president, Kimye may or may not be splitting up, and fucking scurvy is back. If you werent born during the Revolutionary War on a pirate ship and you dont know wtf scurvy is, its a disease where you get bruises and ulcers and other nasty shit that wont heal. Sounds sexy. So what causes this nasty shit? Vitamin C deficiencyso in other words, a mimosa (or seven) is literally medicine now. I fucking knew it.
According to some doctors, scurvy is back because everyone is worried about being fat af so theyve cut down on sugarwhich includes fresh fruit, which has vitamin C, which means were all going to get scurvy. I mean, cant we be thin and not get like, fucking ulcers all over our faces? God damn. But like, real betches should be Gucci sincemimosas and the vitamin C in them is pumping through our fucking veins. But Im gonna go pour myself a glass of La Marca with a splash of OJ just in case. Better safe than sorry.