You Need to Update Your Skincare Routine Like, Every Season

Just as the season changes, so should your skincare. When it gets frigid AF out there, your skin’s not about to respond in its usual, naturally glowing manner. More than likely, it will be all like “WTF is this? Where’s my Vitamin D?” and retaliate against you. So if you don’t want to look ugly/procure another enemy, you need to change your skincare routine. Here’s how the fuck do that:

Exfoliate More

The best way to deal with chapped skin is to exfoliate. Kate Somerville’s Exfolikate is like world renowned so you should probably pick it up and use it at least once a week. For your body, you can use something more intense like the Crushed Cabernet Scrub by Caudalie (special s/o to the Cabernet in it.)

Switch to a Cleansing Oil

So many cleansers strip your skin of its naturally occurring, essential oils. Switch out your dumb, regular cleanser for a cleansing oil like the Shea Cleansing Oil by L’Occitane. It’s French, so obviously it’s good.

Change Your Moisturizer

You think that lightweight serum for summertime is going to get you through chilly months? You need something more heavy-duty. Get yourself a rich night cream, like Origin’s High Potency Night-A-Mins because it’s got hella vitamins, and a daytime moisturizer with SPF 30, like Peter Thomas Roth’s Max All Day Moisture Defense, because you still need SPF in the winter, duh.

Start Using Lip Balm At Night

Just keep some by your bedside and apply it every night. The Sugar Nourishing Lip Balm by Fresh looks really good next to your dildos anyway. Try it.

Don’t Neglect Your Hands

In an effort to not end up with what I like to call RHHS (“Real Housewife Hands Syndrome”), use some hand cream. Laura Mercier makes one that smells like almonds and angel food cake, so it doubles as a sub for when you’re craving actual almonds/angel food cake but aren’t trying to get fat as hell.

Lastly, Drink Some Goddamn Water

Seriously. It’s super important for skin’s elasticity and basically if you don’t drink enough, you’re fucked. I know it’s gross and stuff, but just like close your eyes and pretend it’s vodka. We all know how good you are at drinking vodka.

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